So I have been sitting on this phrase for awhile now. I keep coming back to it. A phrase that of been trying to articulate for awhile now. A phrase that maybe speaks to a state of a heart. The more public softer phrase is ‘turning the lights back on’. But the real raw phrase is this

“I grieve for a past me”

I grieve for a past me.
The past me before I quietly took on burdens.
Took on burdens with great pride.
The ignorant past me who felt I could carry.
I made room for others, not realizing that it empties me.”

I don’t know how to turn to people and say I need someone like the past me. I need that guy. Because I am not exactly sure how to proceed through things most days. Except for when it comes to being empathic of others and sharing burdens well That I could always just play.

For the past me grieves for the man standing before you